I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
