She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
