I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize