she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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