that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
