Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
