Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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