Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
