It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
