Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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