I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
