dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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