I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
