I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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