she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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