That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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