You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
