the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
