this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
