so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
