this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
