last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
