You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
