a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
