I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
