Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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