Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
