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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts

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• (954): View more from Florida

  He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"

  (954): View more from Florida

  Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.

  Fav 15 960 3130

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• (323): View more from California

  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

  Fav 11 1117 3608

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??

  Fav 42 1400 10613

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

  Fav 17 1274 5374

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.

  Fav 16 6771 1326

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.

  Fav 4 3714 1036

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes

  Fav 19 1546 2685

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• (408): View more from California

  I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

  Fav 6 1711 694

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

  Fav 1 1038 554

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• (518): View more from New York

  I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.

  Fav 0 572 323

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.

  Fav 2 450 221

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.

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