I swear she didn't look like that last week.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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