Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
