guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
