Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
