Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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