thus making me awesome and them whores
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize