best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
