Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
