He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
