The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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