the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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