brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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