I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
