I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
