Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
