return my video game
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
