the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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