wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
