Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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