I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
