Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize