Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
