He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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