he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Randomize
