That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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