I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
