oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
