If i come over, it means nothing
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
