"it" just moved
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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