if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize