I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
