I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
