I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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