i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
