I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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