i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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